Recipe!

The Oh, Shit, Dairy Queen is Closed and I am Seven Months Pregnant Faux Blizzard Flavor Treat

Ingredients:

-one extremely patient and understanding husband
-one Kitchen Aid mixer, received as Christmas present from awesome aunt
-paddle attachment for same
-cup that is kind of shaped like a Dairy Queen cup, for purposes of verisimilitude because that is important
-iced tea spoon with long handle (see above; IMPORTANT)

Oh, and a pint of vanilla Haagen-Dazs. And one king-size Snickers.

Obviously I passed my gestational diabetes test. Wilfred Brimley and the Lorax are both very pleased.

How the glucose screening went.

Today I had my screening test to check for gestational diabetes. I went in to the lab, was given 10 oz of orange glucose drink, and was told to drink it down within five minutes. An hour later I'd have my blood drawn to...I don't know, make sure I still had some. I guess.

Everyone who's ever been pregnant and had this test done will warn you about it and make it sound really scary (migraines! puking!) or tell you how gross the drink tastes (like flat orange soda! or cough syrup!) but I was pleasantly surprised to find out it didn't taste too bad. In fact, it reminded me of those sugary drinks in the plastic barrels with the foil tops that I used to have as a kid. My mom would buy me one at the Food Lion if I behaved myself while she did the grocery shopping. So there was a Pavlovian response built right in, and I started the test feeling pretty good!

The taste got a little old about halfway through, but I was prepared to soldier through.

What I wasn't prepared for? Was the sugar crash that came next.

35 minutes later

45 minutes later

One hour later

I should get the results tomorrow or early next week. But in the meantime, I'm going to sleep. And then when I wake up, I am going to single-handedly eat the quart of ice cream I made James buy me as a reward on the way home. For training purposes. Next time, sugar, I'm coming for YOU.

Into the third trimester

Today I am officially 26 weeks pregnant, or two-thirds of the way done baking this baby. Entering the third trimester is an important milestone. It means that Baby V weighs almost two pounds and that in just over three months, I'll be someone's mom.

It also means that it's time for a photoshoot in front of the pantry!

Please note in the background the Zulu shield and the unbaby-proofed, death-trap kitchen.

This picture below was not taken in front of the pantry, but I love it all the same because from the way I'm posing, it looks like I have perky 1940s hair. And that I am about to make out with William Powell. 

Starring Cathy as Myrna Loy and the bump as Asta.

In celebration of the fact that we officially have less than 100 days to learn how to keep a baby alive, James and I went out for lunch today. Yay! We went to our favorite Korean restaurant. Han Gang is amazing in general, but it's perfect for a pregnant lady, because of the sheer amount of food they give you.

By the time we left, this table looked like it had been overrun with uber-destructive, Little House on the Prairie style locusts.

Happy third trimester, Baby V.!